Mariposa del Diablo

Words of wisdom...

2012-02-08T15:53:00.000-06:00

In Review

2012-02-07T14:19:00.000-06:00

I had a really nice time this past weekend staying at the Brackenridge House B&B in the King William district south of downtown San Antonio. I HIGHLY recommend this place if you want to visit SA and stay in a really nice, quaint place within walking distance of a lot of stuff. It's only a few blocks away from the Riverwalk, just five blocks south of downtown, and one block off of South Alamo street in the heart of Southtown.

Last Friday happened to be First Friday on South Alamo, so there was a lot of action with galleries staying open late, live music, and booths everywhere. My goal for the weekend was really just to be alone and do as little as possible, so I walked around to The Friendly Spot, had a beer, and took some nachos back to the B&B. I was hoping to do some reading out on the porch, but the weather turned cold Friday night, and being outside just didn't happen. So, I spent Friday night and most of the day Saturday sitting in my room crocheting and watching movies. It was very good.

I had a single room (they also have suites available), nicely appointed including a mini fridge stocked with complimentary drinks, a microwave, toaster, coffee pot with a variety of drinks, TV with DVD player, and a whole host of complimentary toiletries. My room was off of the back of the house where there is a small garden and large hot tub. A three course breakfast was served each day at 9am with pre-breakfast coffee and cookies served at 8:30am. Saturday's breakfast started with sliced strawberries and bananas with whipped cream and a fresh cinnamon roll. The main course was mushroom quiche with sausages and tomato slices. Dessert (yes, dessert with breakfast!) was mango sorbet. Sunday's breakfast started with watermelon cubes and a fresh lemon poppy seed muffin. The main course was a Dutch pancake topped with sliced peaches and whipped cream, bacon, and orange slices. Desert was peach sorbet. And it was all AMAZING.

My summary--for the price, this place can't be beat. The location is amazing, the rooms are amazing, the food is amazing, and I will definitely be going back.

This is pretty much all I did all weekend.

Oh, dear...

2012-01-31T15:43:00.001-06:00

My company throws this crazy huge Christmas party every year, and in 2010, they did a casino theme where you could win fake money playing various games and then use your fake money to bid on items in a silent auction. Well, I ended up getting the grand prize, a two night stay in a B&B in the King William district south of downtown SA. Let's just say that it's a super awesome area, and Randy and I have been trying for the past year to find some weekend to spend there. We called last summer, but by that time the place had new owners who no longer allowed children, and since we don't have family in town we just never could find a time to go by ourselves.

My therapist suggested a couple of weeks ago that I find a weekend to spend completely alone so that I could get some perspective on things. Not on anything specific, just life, you know? This is something I've been talking about doing for a really really long time (as in 5 or 6 years) but B&B's are expensive, so cost was always an issue.

This time, it's free! So, Randy made reservations for me to go there this weekend, and EEK!! I'm suddenly really nervous. I can't actually remember the last time I went somewhere and stayed alone. overnight. without anyone there. That may sound odd to some people, but Randy and I just tend to do everything together. I'm really looking forward to it, but at the same time I'm afraid of the solitude and also feel guilty for being away from my family. HOWEVER, for the sake of my sanity, I'm doing my level best to set that guilt aside and take some time to just sit and be without any obligations or worries.

Sorry!!

2012-01-30T09:00:00.000-06:00

Sorry to leave you hanging on that truly depressing last post. I've been super busy the past few weeks and just haven't gotten a chance to sit down and post anything. But my mom keeps calling with this worried tone in her voice, so I figured I'd better sit down and write something new!

I had a really great session with my counselor a couple of weeks ago and have been feeling much better lately. I really have no idea what's going on with me, but I'm just taking one day at a time. So, on to other things...

I'll start off with the bad news...Randy was laid off from his job two weeks ago. We're okay financially for the moment, but the situation really sucks, and I don't know how it'll play out in the weeks and months to come. He's had some interviews already, but so far nothing has come of them. We're just trying to stay positive about the situation and enjoy the parts of it we can. Randy's been able to walk and bike the kids to school (something they've all enjoyed!) and has been able to work out more and have some down time, and that's something I think he really needed. I've been able to get into work a little earlier each day and get more work done, and that's something I really needed. Still...fingers crossed that he finds another job soon.

And now for something completely different...

We've been working really hard on the house lately. We're taking advantage of some good weather to start beautifying our yard. We're basically ripping everything out and starting from scratch. Here's where we are right now...

As you can see, our back yard is tiny, so every inch of space has to count. The previous owners had a large dog who dug a lot of holes and basically trashed the back yard, so we have a LOT of work to do. We've already pulled out some large red tip photinias and are taking out a small mimosa tree. There are random pavers all over the place, so we're pulling them out and stacking them up for later use. We're planning to build a little play house for the kids on a small slab that used to hold a built-in bbq pit (which was non-functioning by the time we bought the house). We're also planning to put up a privacy fence along the back of the yard to block out the less-than-beautiful view of our backyard neighbor's property.

Your bonus photo (because he's so darned cute):

What the what what?

2012-01-18T07:50:00.000-06:00

I can feel myself slipping back into depression. It started around Christmas and has gotten slowly but steadily worse in the weeks since then. I thought a few weeks ago that I was just feeling down because one of the medications I was taking to control motor tics made me a zombie; however, I stopped taking that one (under the direction of my doctor) and have just not gotten any better.

The real difficulty with depression (or any mental disorder, I guess) is figuring out where a chemical or hormonal problem ends and a lifestyle issue begins. Am I feeling down because I'm stressed out at work? Because I'm not exercising? Because I'm not eating as well as I should be? Or am I depressed because my body is still readjusting post-baby? Do I just have a congenital chemical deficiency? I've never liked taking medication or even vitamins, so I hate that I have to rely on that. I've always thought that there is probably a dietary or other physical solution to most medical problems, and in my mind this is really no different. But how do you take that first step (which, for me, is regular exercise and a balanced diet) when all you want to do is curl up in bed and shut out the rest of the world? If I have to up my medication then so be it. At this point it isn't about me but about doing what's best for my family. I have to be able to function and interact with them in a way that's meaningful.

So, we'll see what happens over the next couple of weeks. I'm really trying to get up and exercise before work each day (I've had more misses than hits, but anything is better than nothing), and I go back to my psychiatrist at the end of the month. Baby steps...

2011--The year in pictures

2012-01-03T13:57:00.001-06:00

Georgie displaying his amazing smile. He is such a happy kid.

George and Sparky giving me an early morning goodbye.

Emily had several rounds of swim lessons this year and is a total fish.

Best buds!

We had the opportunity to head up to Stamford, CT, this summer to stay with friends for five days. The kids loved the plane rides, and we all had a blast.

We took Emily into New York City one day to visit FAO Schwarz and the largest Toys R Us in the world, and we stopped off at Serendipity for Lunch and their famous frozen hot chocolate.

George took his first trip to the beach in Stamford. The sand took a little getting used to, but he loved it!

We went to Pittsburgh in October for the wedding of our good friends Shannon and Craig. This pic was taken in Ohiopyle State Park.

We absolutely could not go to Pittsburgh without spending a day visiting Fallingwater. One of my life's dreams fulfilled!!

Dressed in their wedding finery.

Late October trip to Guadalupe River State Park

The obligatory fall pumpkin patch photo.

My adorable Hallowe'enies.

And visiting Santa to round out the year.

Where to begin?

2011-12-30T14:45:00.002-06:00

In order for the now to make sense, I suppose I'll have to tell you a bit about where I've been, so I'll begin at the beginning. I've struggled with anxiety disorders for as long as I can remember (and I can remember barely being able to walk, so that's a long long time). I was diagnosed with motor tics when I was around 8 or 9, although the diagnosis came from a school nurse and I was never formally assessed for any issues with that. I suppose they were either not too noticeable or simply never impeded my social or academic function enough to really worry about, and I honestly never gave it too much thought. The only time the tics ever bothered me was when I got really stressed out. Tics (and anxiety in general) can be physically exhausting. I've always been "shy" and had a tremendous amount of anxiety in social situations. There are few people that I'm really comfortable around, so I tend to latch onto those people and probably scared away plenty of potential friends that way.

I think depression kind of follows anxiety disorders in the natural course of events. I can remember being very depressed and feeling very isolated in high school, but I chalked that up to normal teenage issues and simply not fitting in to my small town existence. I didn't have much in common with my peers, so I channeled my energy into getting into college and staying there. Anxiety and depression were definitely a problem during college, and I can't tell you how many times I stood outside the door to the counseling office only to chicken out and walk away. I've long dealt with my issues by not dealing with them, trying to escape into other activities or blocking my thoughts out with music or movies or books or alcohol.

Fast forward to the past year, and I think the pressure of having two kids, a full-time job, and a host of other stuff has finally caught up with and overwhelmed me. Anxiety made breastfeeding George extremely challenging as stress reduces milk production, and I was forced to begin supplementing him with formula last January. We finally gave up on breastfeeding altogether in June. You'd think that would've taken some pressure off and reduced my anxiety, but the absolute reverse happened. I completely withdrew into myself and settled into a really massive depression for the next several months. I apologize to anyone I offended or just blew off during that time, but I had to summon every ounce of energy just to get up and go to work and be reasonably present in my family life. I just stopped going places and really couldn't even leave the house except to go to work. The effort of faking being happy (or at the very least just plain pleasant) became really exhausting.

At the recommendation of a friend, I started seeing a counselor in September and a psychiatrist in October. I also currently see a neurologist for tic disorder, but the psychiatrist diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and panic disorder with associated agoraphobia. None of that came as a shock to me, and I don't feel defined by the diagnosis. I just see it as a starting point. My "issues" now have names, and that makes it easier somehow for me to deal with them. I've tried a few different medications and have now settled on a cocktail that seems to really be helping. I have also made tremendous progress with cognitive behavioral therapy. Little by little, I'm starting to feel human again. Little by little, I'm getting back out into the world. Little by little I'm gaining the confidence I need to live my life the way I want to live it.

So, where the H-E-double hockey sticks have I been???

2011-12-29T09:29:00.001-06:00

I'd love to say I've been off doing something really interesting, but in truth I've been hiding out just trying to get through each day with my sanity intact. I mean that quite literally.

I've been through a long struggle with major anxiety and depression, issues I've battled for most of my life and which became almost incapacitating over the course of the past year. I'll still blog about normal life kind of stuff, because this isn't a one-subject blog; however, I also want to use this as a forum to be really open about my personal struggle with depression and anxiety, particularly since I've managed to hide them so well that even my family didn't know the extent to which these issues affected my life.

I'm really glad to back here and look forward to hearing from whoever is out there actually reading this, so don't be shy about leaving comments!

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-07T20:10:00.004-05:00

Being a mom is by far the most difficult thing I've ever done, and I would be completely lost without my mom. She's the most patient, supportive, loving person I know. She's always there for me with words of encouragement or advice, and even though she sometimes drives me a little crazy (and I'm sure the feeling is mutual!), I can't imagine my life without her. She taught me that there's a world outside of me and showed me how to love and support my family no matter what. I love you, mom!

Well said, sir...

2011-04-14T09:23:00.002-05:00

"If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we've got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it."

~ Stephen Colbert

In Review

2011-03-21T08:56:00.008-05:00

We hit up the Sherwood Forest Faire last weekend and had an absolute blast. It had been a really long time (over 11 years) since Randy and I last ventured to a Renaissance festival, so we were really overdue, but the one we used to go to in Magnolia is about a 4 hour drive from San Antonio. Kind of a haul and also kind of expensive. By contrast the SFF was about half the ticket price and only an hour away from Austin. We went with my parents, my cousin and her family, and my aunt and uncle, and one of our party blessedly saw a Groupon deal for half of the entry fee, so WOOHOO!

So, down to the nitty gritty. I thought it was great! It's set in the piney woods in the Elgin/Bastrop/Giddings neighborhood and is remarkably well developed for only being in it's second year. They've built themselves big enough to accomodate additional vendors and entertainment in the future but are small enough to not be completely overwhelming for the kiddos.

Speaking of the kiddos, they really had a great time as well. The SFF has a kid's section with a petting zoo, kid-friendlier food, games, etc., (although they also have stuff geared towards kids throughout the rest of the park).

In short, a good time was had by all. We've found our official TX Ren Fest substitute.

Lent

2011-03-15T09:35:00.003-05:00

This is the Lenten Litany re-posted from our Ash Wednesday service bulletin (St. Andrew Presbyterian Church, San Antonio):

"Lent is more than a time of fasting.
It is also a joyous season of feasting.
It is saying no so that we can say Yes!
We fast in order that we may feast.
In this season let us:

Fast from judging others; feast on the Christ indewelling in them.
Fast from emphasis on differences; feast on the unity of all life.
Fast from thoughts of illness; feast on the healing power of God.
Fast from words that pollute; feast on phrases that edify.
Fast from discontent; feast on gratitude.
Fast from anger; feast on patience.
Fast from pessimism; feast on grace.
Fast from worry; feast on trust.
Fast from complaining; feast on appreciation.
Fast from unrelenting pressures; feast on unceasing prayer.
Fast from hostility; feast on the peaceable Kingdom.
Fast from bitterness; feast on forgiveness.
Fast from self-concern; feast on compassion for others.
Fast from personal anxiety; feast on eternal truth.
Fast from discouragement; feast on hope.
Fast from lethargy; feast on God's spirit at work.
Fast from thoughts that weaken; feast on promises that inspire.
Fast from idle gossip; feast on purposeful silence.

Gentle God, during this season of fast and feasting, gift us with your presence so we may be a gift to others in carrying out your work."

It's so easy in our culture to focus on the things that divide us. We judge, we criticize, we turn our backs on everything outside of our immediate sphere of life. It saddens me that people are surprised to find that I am not only a Christian but also attend church regularly. I believe in God's Word but I don't live it. So this Lenten season, I am taking on living God's word through Easter and beyond.

Was I like this?

2011-03-11T17:30:00.003-06:00

Emily will be seven in July. I can't believe she's this old already. It sounds so cliche, but time really does go by so very quickly. Sigh...

She's reached an age, I guess, where she seems to talk absolutely non-stop. I love hearing how mature and interesting her thoughts are, but the whole stream-of-consciousness thing is not really my game. I like to be silent (except at night when Randy's trying to read a book and I want to talk). And shockingly I like to watch movies without talking and answering questions THE ENTIRE TIME.

Did I do that at her age? I have absolutely no memory of doing that. I probably didn't. Surely not. I can't imagine that I would. Hmm...

Resolution Round-Up

2011-03-07T10:43:00.003-06:00

I've lost track of the week number now. Does it really matter anyway? Only in my mind, I suppose, where I love the order and regimentation that I so wish I could translate into real-life action. But I digress.

Here's the latest round-up:

1. Exercise four times per week--I'm currently averaging two times per week. Hey, it's better than nothing. Don't judge me.

2. No fast food--I've actually done okay with this. I did hit up a Sonic when I was in a pinch a couple of weeks ago, and the food was so terrible that I really shouldn't have difficulty staying away.

3. No eating in the car--I'm officially taking this one off the table. I've had to accept that eating breakfast in the car is very often the only way I get breakfast at all. Mornings are always so rushed.

4. Take a graduate class--I've started my online application (due April 1) to take a summer class at UTHSCSA.

The boy loves his bath

2011-03-05T06:23:00.006-06:00

George, who is like Emily in so very many ways, LOVES to take baths.

Exhibit A:

I stopped the video just before George flashed this face after slipping onto his back (don't worry, the water wasn't deep enough to cover his face):

Note: Before anyone calls CPS on me for filming him instead of surrounding him with outstretched arms, let me assure you that Randy was there the whole time and was the one actually bathing George.

And so it begins...

2011-02-27T16:45:00.002-06:00

Emily, our social butterfly, has a friend from school with whom she has started talking on the phone at home. Bear in mind that we don't have a land line, just cell phones. Also, her friend doesn't seem to understand what "I'll have her call you back later" means. The result is that I now have a 7 year old calling my cell phone five times a day.

I think it's time to have a conversation about phone etiquette.

Why is it...

2011-02-22T13:48:00.003-06:00

that when you go into an empty bathroom and occupy (in a row of multiple stalls) the stall farthest from the door someone will invariably occupy the stall immediately adjacent to you?? Does that make anyone else uncomfortable? Why not leave a space or two?

Resolution Round-Up #s 3, 4, 5

2011-02-11T09:42:00.009-06:00

I don't want to talk about my resolutions. Let's just say it's been crap and leave it at that for now. I'll get back to you next week.

So, we've just been through a few weeks of nasty cold weather and as our computer is in our unheated basement, you can see why I might not want to spend much time down there writing blog posts. I'd have done it at work (during lunch, of course), but I've been absolutely swamped for the past month. I'm finally coming up for air, though, and enjoying lovely temps in the 70's now, so I should be posting more.

In my copious free moments, I've done a little more crocheting. Here's a little hat and booties set I made for our niece, Lori, who's having a baby next month. I found the hat pattern here and the booties pattern here. I got the flowers here. I think they're pretty cute.

George continues to grow like a little weed. He feels a little heftier today than he did a few days ago, so I think he's packing on pounds (well, I suppose ounces at his age) to get ready for a growth spurt. He now has his bottom central incisors and one of his top central incisors. The other top one is set to break through any time now, but having just the one tooth on top is extremely cute. He really made strides on the crawling front this weekend, and I fully expect him to be all over the place pretty soon. He continues to love food but doesn't like chunks of things yet. He makes a horrible face and gags if you feed him something that has lumps in it, even very very small lumps. It's pretty funny actually. I mean not because he looks like he's choking, but because he acts like you shoved the entire spoon down his throat when seriously, kid, it was a teeny tiny little lump of carrot. But honestly, he's such a great kid. He has such a sweet disposition and is very clear about what he needs. He's very happy and loves loves loves his big sister.

Well, that's this week's edition of As The Harris World Turns. Until next week... Here is a bonus video of Emily enjoying our recent ice blanket...

Defecting

2011-01-31T09:46:00.002-06:00

It's official. I'm hanging up my knitting needles in favor of the crochet hook. I just find crocheting a lot more fun. It's fast. It's easy. You can make stuff up on the fly. I love it! Here's one of my first real (as in I actually followed a pattern) projects...

I made these for my boss (a skeletal biologist) who is getting married this fall.

When you're just too tired to care...

2011-01-24T15:33:00.001-06:00

Resolution Round-Up #2

2011-01-18T09:54:00.002-06:00

Here's our round-up for week two:

1. Exercise four times per week--Epic fail this week. I only exercised once. I guess that's at least better than none.

2. No fast food--Once again, I had breakfast tacos (in the car again!) on Friday. Obviously there's something about Friday breakfast that's gotta change.

3. No eating in the car--No need to expound here.

4. Take a graduate class--I checked out the courses offered at UTSA and didn't see much of anything that interested me, so I'm pretty much settled on taking something at UTHSCSA.

Resolution Round-Up

2011-01-10T08:52:00.004-06:00

So, here's how the first week went:

1. Exercise four times per week--Okay, I did two. It's a start.

2. No fast food--This is turning into an interesting exercise. It turns out I think about eating out A LOT. I did get breakfast tacos from Bill Miller (they make killer breakfast tacos, by the way) on Friday, but other than that I held strong.

3. No eating in the car--Not gonna lie...I ate the aforementioned breakfast tacos in the car, because I was really REALLY hungry.

4. Take a graduate class--I bookmarked some stuff at the UT Health Sciences Center at San Antonio (UTHSCSA). I want to see what they have to offer at UT San Antonio (UTSA) as well.

Okay, so it was a mixed bag. I wish I had met my exercise goal and will do so this week, but on the whole I feel good about things.

Oh Em Jee

2011-01-05T09:58:00.004-06:00

George is trying to crawl. At five months. Time to get serious about baby-proofing.

Resolutions

2011-01-01T16:36:00.006-06:00

I've never been one to make resolutions for the new year. They just seem like one more thing that I should be doing but am not. Well, I'm jumping on the bandwagon this year. I have a few modest goals that I've been lugging around for a number of years just not doing a darn thing about, and I figure if I lay them out in the open here you'll hold me accountable. Or maybe I'll be more accountable to myself. Whatever.

Anywho, here are my goals for the year:

1. Exercise 4 times per week. Notice I didn't say at least 4 times per week. If I say that, I'll feel guilty if I only do it 4 times and then I'll feel like I've failed and just not do anything. Trying to keep it manageable and guilt-free, people.

2. No fast food. This means no eating at McDonalds-type joints. Note, I didn't say no eating out. And this isn't a statement on fast-food joints. I'm just trying to eat better and spend less money.

3. No eating in the car. Pretty self-explanitory, I'd say.

4. Take a graduate class as a non-degree student.

So, that's pretty much it. My goals are fairly modest and quantifiable. My intention is to present regular updates (I haven't decided whether this will be monthly or more often) in a new series called The Resolution Round-Up.

Stay tuned.

Christmas

2010-12-28T08:57:00.006-06:00

We had a very nice Christmas. We stayed home Christmas Eve, woke up and opened presents at home, and then drove up to spend Saturday and Sunday with my family. I must admit that we've been so busy this year that I never seemed able to quite get into the Christmas spirit. That's something I'm definitely doing differently next year. But, that being said, Emily seemed to have a great time, and it was our first Christmas with George so it was inherently special.

We never quite managed to get out to see Santa (though, as she pointed out to me, Emily did send a letter to Santa so she didn't really need to talk to him anyway), so on Christmas Eve I finally sat the kids down in front of our tree and took some pictures...

Then we got Sparky involved...

Happy holidays, all!

Pacifying

2010-12-22T16:56:00.010-06:00

In lieu of a "real" post, once again I shall attempt to pacify you with cute kid pics. The last one is my favorite...

Your daily dose of cute

2010-12-07T15:00:00.001-06:00

Of coffee and trees: a rant

2010-12-04T05:50:00.005-06:00

We're now in the throws of the Christmas season, and it's that time of year once again when I have to listen to people constantly railing against artificial trees. They're ugly! They're pointless! They're tacky! Well, you know what, the last time Randy and I got a real tree we ended up decorating it on the front porch while I felt like I was going to die (that was also the first and only time I have visited a Christmas tree farm), because I'M ALLERGIC TO REAL TREES.

All year long I have to listen to people justify not making decaf coffee by saying that It's pointless! It tastes bad! Just drink regular! Well, you know what, I'M SENSITIVE TO CAFFEINE. It makes me feel like I'm going to blow a piston and then pass out. Why is it, though, that I am perfectly capable of making a damn good cup of decaf coffee while restaurants are not? They'll make five different varieties of good regular coffee but seem to assume that because someone chooses decaf they want it to taste bad as well.

Non-alcoholic beverages. I'll cut to the chase here. Some people want to drink, but can't handle the alcohol physically. This is not me, but I would totally go for non-alcoholic beer and wine if they ever made some that tasted good. It's easier on the liver, and you can drink as much as you want and drive with a clear conscience.

My point here is to think before you speak, people. We don't all want or like the substitute, but we who must substitute embrace whatever we have. Your "real" tree isn't better than my fake one. What's more artificial than taking a perfectly good tree, cutting it down, and putting up in your living room? In fact, I could argue that at least I've only bought one tree in the last eight years. I've conserved at least some modicum of my Christmas carbon footprint. So, I emplore you to recycle your non-plastic tree after you un-decorate, and give me a little break as I whip out my hanky when I visit your house this season.

So...

2010-11-29T17:20:00.003-06:00

I'm feeling the need to make some changes. Perhaps you noticed the new layout? I thought about starting a different blog, but then I thought about the name of this one. Mariposa del diablo is a private joke between Randy and me. In fact, I'd explain it to you but we started it so long ago that I can't even remember how we came up with the phrase. I think it just sounded funny to say devil's butterfly. Who knows? We're silly like that.

I digress.

Butterflies symbolize change, so I guess it's fitting if this blog takes a new direction rather than starting something new. I originally began this as a means of keeping family and friends who didn't live nearby kind of in tuned to what's going on with us. I don't want to completely give that up, but I don't really want this to be just about what we're doing on the weekends either. So, I don't have any clearly defined direction, just a notion of mixing things up a little. Fair warning.

We have roll over!!

2010-11-11T19:12:00.006-06:00

Georgie's been close to rolling over for some time now but finally got the back-to-front roll down last night. Now for the front-to-back...

Hallowe'en

2010-11-03T08:49:00.012-05:00

This was the year of the seemingly endless Hallowe'en. It started Friday when we had our annual work Hallowe'en festivities. My lab mates and I decorated our lab door and dressed up. We placed 3rd in the door decorating contest...

...but we didn't place in the group costume contest...

We were robbed.

On Friday night we went to the Fall Festival at Emily's school. This is a PTA fundraiser and popular event that includes costume contests, food, games, and music. Emily went as a princess...

This is the fourth year running that Emily has dressed up as a princess for Hallowe'en, and that's fine. That's her thing. But in an attempt to get her to branch out a bit, I suggested that she pick different costumes for the different events we went to this weekend. So, for the Zoo Boo, which we went to on Saturday night, she opted to go as an elephant. This was also the debut of the Yoda costume I made for George...

I knitted his hat, sweater, and feet. You can find links to the free patterns here. As that person did, I knitted plain socks and then added toes on the end, although what I ended up doing is picking up stitches and knitting flat toes which I then felted slightly. This was my first pair of socks, and I didn't have time to try and figure out how to divide then ends into three toes.

The Zoo Boo was insanely crowded, but Emily seemed to enjoy it. Hallowe'en night had Emily back to being a princess. George was Yoda once again, although not quite as happy about being put in his costume...

So.

2010-10-28T10:39:00.001-05:00

Very. Tired.

Buds

2010-10-18T09:08:00.005-05:00

Emily wanted to help give George a bath last night, and I thought it would be a good opportunity to show you how they typically interact...

The Harris Report

2010-10-11T09:16:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, we checked out the grand opening of a new dog park in downtown SA. It's a 5 minute drive from our house, so we're really excited.

The local news stations were there covering the event, which included free vaccinations, micro-chipping, licensing, adoptions, etc. (we've been dodging the law ever since we got him, but I'm happy to report that Sparky is now micro-chipped and licensed, both of which are required in SA), and Randy was interviewed as he exited the dog park with Sparky. I was hoping for a video report, but I guess it was reduced to an internet blurb, because this is all I could find...

KABB Fox San Antonio :: Top Stories - Downtown Dog Park Opens

ETA: Someone at work told me they actually saw Randy on the news broadcast Sunday night, so that's pretty cool.

Back to the salt mine

2010-10-05T15:20:00.003-05:00

Day 2 back at work here, and things are going pretty well. I discovered on Day 1 that waking up at 6am just won't cut it, so today I dialed it back to 5:30am. Things went much more smoothly this morning. I also made sure that I had all the extra lunch stuff like carrots and Cheetos (GASP! Junk food!!) already bagged and ready to throw into Emily's lunchbox so that all I had to do this morning was make her pb&j. That's really the key for us, making sure that whatever we can prepare the night before is done. Another little helpful tidbit...Emily (all on her own) wrote out and illustrated a list of everything she has to do to get ready for school in the morning.

Leaving George was really difficult yesterday. He's staying with a lady close to work who takes care of just a few other kids in her house. She's super nice, really friendly, and has an amazing home. It's just a typical suburbian house, but she's really into gardening and has turned her yard into a paradise. It's such a stimulating environment for kids. Hell, I want to hang out there all day.

Mr. Man did just fine. So fine, in fact, that he fell asleep at 7:20 last night and didn't wake up until 6 this morning! We'll see what happens tonight. I've really missed him during the day. It's so hard to go from spending nearly every waking hour together to only seeing him awake 3-4 hours each day. I was really sad that he fell asleep so early last night, but I guess it's something I should get used to. The main thing is making the awake time count, and that goes for both kids.

Open Letter

2010-09-30T08:49:00.004-05:00

Dear George,

While I share your general enthusiasm and excitement at your ability to grasp things, I'm not sure that continually snapping my bra while nursing is the most appropriate use of that ability.

Love,
Mama

Your daily dose of cuteness

2010-09-28T08:42:00.002-05:00

What's Cooking

2010-09-21T20:41:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted about food in a long time. Don't get too excited, though. This is probably nothing to write home about. A favorite in our house is this little ditty that I made up seven or eight years ago...long enough that I can't really remember if I did it before or after we moved to San Antonio.

It's quick. It's easy. It's under $10.

Orange Alfredo Pasta

Boil some pasta (I prefer either spirals or bowtie for this, but it's really a matter of taste). Dice up a few chicken breasts and lightly season with seasoned salt (or plain salt and pepper if you prefer). Brown the chicken in olive oil over medium heat in a large skillet (have you ever noticed how many prepositional phrases occur in describing a recipe?). Add 1 jar of alfredo sauce to the chicken (I like the Classico variety, but I don't recommend deviating from the regular alfredo. I speak from experience when I say that this is NOT good with the four-cheese or roasted-garlic varieties). Add in a can of mandarin oranges, drained, to the chicken and sauce. Add the cooked pasta to the alfredo mixture and warm together. Serve hot with whatever sides strike your fancy.

This is definitely a crowd pleaser. Not terribly healthy, but a great occasional weeknight meal.

Our hood

2010-09-17T09:03:00.006-05:00

The marginally (and I do mean marginally) cooler weather as of late has finally allowed us to walk Emily to school in the mornings, so I've been able to take George out in the stroller for a little bit of exercise after we drop her off. Usually we walk up and down N. St. Mary's, but Wednesday I decided to check out the Riverwalk. And for once, I remembered to bring the camera with me:

Pearl Brewery seen from Josephine Street. It has a very European look about it. I always love this view...

San Antonio Museum of Art. It occupies the old Lone Star Brewery...

Flying fish under the I35 bridge...

And, of course, your token picture of George...

Emily

2010-09-07T09:15:00.004-05:00

In the hubbub surrounding George's birth, I missed posting anything about Emily's 6th birthday.

Needless to say, I absolutely cannot believe that Emily is 6 already. Where did it all go?? She's grown and matured so much over the summer that she's like a stranger to me sometimes, but I'm really enjoying getting to know Emily, the young lady, because that's what she's turning into. She's just the most amazing, articulate, imaginative, thoughtful young person, and anyone who says otherwise simply doesn't know her.

Emily has adjusted amazingly well to being a big sister, and she's easily George's favorite person. While I'm with him cuddling and feeding and taking care of him all day, she gets all the smiles when we pick her up from school. George lights up like a firefly when his Sissy is around, and she never misses an opportunity to give him a kiss and a squeeze.

Parenthood, or Can't We All Just Get Along?

2010-09-02T10:31:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure if there are any more devisive topics out there than parenthood. Religion, perhaps? Everyone has an opinion on how best to raise your kids, even people who have never had kids.

Why do we do it? Speaking for myself, probably to make me feel better about the things I'm NOT doing well. If I knock someone else down, it makes me feel taller. And that's a really terrible excuse.

Lets face it, being a parent is one of the hardest jobs you can have. Some of us make a choice to be parents and some of us just kind of fall into it unprepared, but none of us gets paid for it. Our only incentive to do well is love and good intentions, and those can only get you so far if you don't have support from the people around you.

I'm going to let it all hang out: My kids go to daycare. I use disposable diapers. I take my kid to McDonalds once in a while. I even bought her an ice cream on the way home from school yesterday. And you know what? She's just fine.

So, I'm making a pledge here and now to give my support to other parents. I pledge to stop criticizing them for the choices they make and to remember that we're all handed a different set of circumstances in life. If I don't agree with what you're doing, perhaps it would be better for me to ask if you need help rather than just tell you you're doing things wrong (or worse, tell everyone else you're doing things wrong). We're all in the same boat here. If we want to raise a healthy, happy generation of kids, we need to row in the same direction. That doesn't mean we should all do the same things, but rather that we should all keep the same end goal in mind.

Now driving with one eye open

2010-08-25T10:24:00.004-05:00

So, it's at this point that I struggle to hold back tears because, SHOCKER, George is not his sister. Emily started sleeping through the night around 3 weeks, and I guess because George is so very much like her in other ways I was ~~expecting~~ hoping he would follow her lead on this too. Not so much.

I shouldn't really complain. He does get in a good 5 hour stretch every night. But that ends around 2:00 or 3:00am, and by the time I've nursed him, put him back to bed, pumped the other breast, and tossed around the bed while he makes all manner of VERY LOUD SLEEPING SOUNDS, I end up with only 30 minutes to an hour of additional sleep before I have to get up and start getting Emily ready for school.

Pointing a weary finger at you, Mr. Poopy Pants...

Milestones

2010-08-20T13:57:00.007-05:00

George turns one month old tomorrow, a fact which is hard for me to believe as it feels like he's been with us for four months instead of four weeks. We've settled into a fairly decent routine, and it sort of feels like it's always been this way (if that makes any sense to those of you who may be operating on considerably more sleep than I currently am).

I had my post-partum check-up with my ob/gyn this morning and got the all-clear to do whatever I want, and I'm really excited about getting back into shape. I've lost 28 of the 37 pounds that I gained during pregnancy, so the last little bit (plus the 10 or so pounds I'd like to drop on top of that) shouldn't be much of a problem once I get my body moving.

There's not a whole lot to report regarding George. He's still pretty much just eating and sleeping. He's a happy boy who smiles a lot, and I can't wait for that first smile that's unequivocally just for me. He usually gets in a good five hour stretch of sleep at night followed by a three or four hour stretch. I'm satisfied with this for the moment, although it's hard not to compare him to Emily who was already sleeping through the night at this point.

He enjoyed his first real bath...

and has put on enough weight to earn the nickname Senor Chubs...

Emily has adapted quite nicely, although she won't hesitate to tell you that she's really bored staying home with George and me and can't wait for school to start on Monday. She loves to read, and this is how you can usually find her these days...

Wherein I now understand my lack of fame...

2010-08-17T16:36:00.003-05:00

Since it's coming up, I decided to look up my birthday and see what famous people share it with me, and the most famous people on the list are Wilt Chamberlain, Kenny Rogers, Kim Cattral, and Brody Jenner. Really???

Not really sure what you expected, but...

2010-08-11T06:38:00.003-05:00

So, it's been three weeks since George was born, and I find that people seem to expect me to be lying around is pain or something. Everyone keeps asking how I feel (great!), and when I was out mowing the lawn (which is very small, by the way; it isn't like we have acres and acres to deal with here) the other night several neighbors commented that they just couldn't believe I was out doing that. I mean, it isn't like I had a c-section. What gives??

Why yes, I am still alive

2010-08-04T21:40:00.003-05:00

Okay, we've successfully passed two critical transitions: 1. my mom, who spent a week with us mostly cooking and helping keep Emily entertained, left last Thursday, and 2. Randy, who had two full weeks off with us, went back to work yesterday. I confess that of the two, my mom leaving was the most traumatic. We've still not gotten quite in the groove of cooking proper meals yet, and I find that all too often I've completely forgotten to eat lunch.

We have settled into a fairly manageable groove with George, though. He's actually a fantastic baby, very easy to read. George is pretty no-nonsense. When he's awake, he seems very contemplative. He just kind of chills out and takes things in. His needs are easy to predict, and his sleep cycle is pretty easy to manipulate. He's sleeping 4 and 5 hour stretches at night, so I can't complain there.

Emily has been the biggest challenge. Anyone who knows her knows that she's a very cool kid, easy to manage and pretty easy to entertain. But this is the most time I've gotten to spend with her since she was one year old, and six year olds have far more energy and far more complex needs than one year olds do. Emily is really good at entertaining herself, but she's also a social creature, and the amount of time at home and away from kids her own age is definitely wearing on her. The heat doesn't help either. It's too hot outside to do much besides swim, and I can't do that because of this little thing called giving birth. Things are getting better, though. I'm slowly working her into a routine and am also realizing that I have to let go of Jen time while she's awake so that I can actually enjoy this rare time we have together. And that's really what keeping her at home was all about anyway. Well, that and saving $130 per week. But truly, who knows when I'll get this kind of time with her again?

So, here we are. There's really much more to say, but there's also a lot of laundry on my bed, so I'll leave you with these:

You can call me Sal...

Belated birthday just-girls train ride...

Barely...

2010-08-02T13:26:00.001-05:00

hanging...in there...

Introducing...

2010-07-25T20:34:00.010-05:00

George Henry Harris...

FINALLY, he's here! I was beginning to think he'd ordered furniture to my womb and settled in for eternity. Our official due date was July 20, so I can't really complain that he only went over by one day. Of course, I do know that due dates are just estimates, but when you're the one who's pregnant, you really do start to count on them as gospel. Particularly in July...in South Texas.

I wasn't planning to write a birth story, but this one's pretty decent so here goes...

I abandoned work after July 16 since I'd wrapped up everything I needed to do and wasn't of a mind to dive into any new projects. Starting Saturday, the 17th, I was having periods of strong contractions, etc., so every day I'd think THIS IS IT. But then it wasn't. I woke up at 3am on the 21st with some fairly strong contractions running 8-10 minutes apart. I went back to bed at 5am and woke up again around 7 or 7:30 with the contractions running between 5-7 minutes apart. Randy had decided to abandon work the day before, so we sat around timing the contractions for a couple of hours and watched them get farther and farther apart. They pretty much halted around lunch time, and I kind of sat around depressed for a while thinking it was yet another false alarm.

Around mid afternoon, I decided to consult the Internet and its infinite wisdom around stalled labor, and I came across a doula bulletin board thread that suggested it could just be a natural plateau that would then lead to the next phase of labor. Turns out they were right.

The contractions returned with a vengeance at around 5-5:30pm. I totally stand by the whole breathing through contractions (you know, HE HOO HE HE HOO...) thing. I did it with Emily and did it again with George, and it totally works for me. So, I was doing that while timing contractions with Randy's LaborMate iPhone app (also very helpful).

Emily had been in vacation Bible school at our church that Monday and Tuesday, and Wednesday we were all supposed to go and watch their final program and eat dinner at church. So we did. I just barely managed to sit through the pain. I tried to cover up the contractions as best I could, but eventually we had to tell people what was up. They wanted me to help lead one of the songs, and there was just no way I could do that. The program ended at around 7:30pm, and despite previous plans to go out to dinner with my parents (who had come in to town that day to watch Emily while I labored) we went straight home. The contractions were really painful at this point, but they were still more than 5 minutes apart, and I didn't want to go to the hospital just yet.

Randy went and picked up food for us after we got home, and we ate around 8:30pm. By the time we finished eating we knew we had to call the doctor. I was just in too much pain. So, the doctor on call asked how far apart the contractions were (4-6 minutes), what number child this one was for me (#2), and what I was dilated at at my last check-up (3.5cm the Friday before), and told me by all means to go to the hospital NOW. So we did. We already had our stuff in the car ready to go, so we just jumped in and took off.

By the time we got to the freeway (~1/3 of a mile from our house) the contractions were coming 2 minutes apart. By the time we got to the hospital (~20 minutes door to door) they were 1 minute apart. I had 5 contractions between our car and the labor and delivery ward. The best part was sitting through contractions on my yoga ball while people walked by and looked awkwardly at us on the sidewalk. We'd sort of run as far as we could and then sit though a contraction, and then get up and do it again. Just outside of the hospital entrance, I accidentally dropped my ball just as a contraction began and a huge gust of wind blew. Try running through a labor contraction sometime. It's not easy!

When we checked in, they took us to a preliminary screening room so I could give a urine sample, change into a hospital gown, and have my cervix checked, but the contractions were coming so fast they just skipped the cervical check and practically ran me to a delivery room. When they checked my cervix, I was at 8cm, and they said the only thing standing between me and delivery was my bag of waters breaking. So, my doctor high-tailed it to the hospital, broke my water, and George was out after two pushes! We were in the hospital less than an hour before he was born. Needless to say, there was no time for any pain medication, and given that my plan was to go without anyway, it all worked out.

So that's that. All in all, it was a fantastic experience. It's scary to think that had my water broken George would have been born in the car or at home, but I'm so happy that I was able to do the vast majority of laboring at home and not hooked up to a fetal monitor or IV. My doctor and nurses couldn't believe how quiet I was through the hospital portion. The lady next door was screaming her head off (very annoyingly, I must add). I am especially glad I didn't have any drugs to cloud the experience. It was very painful, but I have such a clear memory of the whole thing. With Emily, I was really out of it for several hours, and my memory of events is pretty distorted. I only thought I had an easy labor with her. This one was fantastic!

Here are some pics from George's first few days on the outside...

How we roll in the Harris household...

2010-07-11T18:23:00.005-05:00

We've had an ice cream ball for a good four years now and have only used it 3 or 4 times. It's billed as a fun family activity, but the thing is it's a hard, angular plastic ball that when filled with ice and ice cream fixings weighs in at a good 10-15 pounds. Small kids can't really join in because it's so heavy to roll. You can't kick it around because you'd most likely break some foot bones. We can't use it inside because it would kill our wood floors. And in spite of what the directions say, you have to roll this thing around for a good hour to hour and a half in order for it to freeze well.

Unless you have a treadmill...

Behold, human ingenuity at it's finest.

One reason I DON'T like shopping with kids...

2010-07-05T21:30:00.002-05:00

We went to Sun Harvest this afternoon and put Emily in charge of marking items off the list. At one point, she shouted (no, seriously, SHOUTED) thirty feet across the produce section at me, "TELL ME WHEN YOU GET THE PRUNE JUICE 'CAUSE I ALREADY KNOW WHERE IT IS ON THE LIST!"

Close

2010-06-28T19:13:00.008-05:00

Okay, so we are officially three weeks away from our due date. That reality sunk in this weekend, and I'm now officially going insane. I have a ton of work to do at work and a ton of work to do at home, and I kind of wish this baby would pop out so I couldn't really do any of it. But, it's more important to me that I don't have to worry about all of those nagging little undone things, so I'm trying to prioritize.

Priority #1 this weekend was to get the baby's room finished. Mission accomplished. I have a couple of paintings I'm working on to spruce up the walls, and we need to replace his ceiling fan and buy a rug, but all in all it's ready.

Priority #2 is to wrap up work at work. That's been a challenge given that I keep having to abandon my projects to help other people with theirs. It's a process, though, and I think I can wrap up the most pressing stuff by the end of this week. I think. I hope. We'll see.

Priority #3 is to get the rest of the house cleaned and organized a little better. This is mostly a vanity issue. I hate to think of people coming to visit and seeing this place in its current state.

Every thing else we'll just have to take in stride. Emily's birthday party is on the 10th, but thankfully it's pretty low-key and will be held at Kiddie Park where the kids will be entertained without us having to do much.

So that's that. Your bonus photo is me at 37 weeks. I have to say, I think I look pretty darn good for the most part. I certainly look better now than I did at this point with Emily.

The Up-Side

2010-06-18T08:31:00.002-05:00

Things I like about being pregnant...

1. No period--who can argue with this one??? I dare you. Is there really any woman out there that actually looks forward to that each month? What am I saying? I'm sure there is some earth mother type who likes to have a physical reminder of her womanhood and blah blah blah. Put me squarely in the other camp, though. The two period-less years I had during and after pregnancy with Emily were the best two years of my adult life.

2. People really let you off the hook for a LOT of things, particularly physical work. It's a little disturbing, actually. I'm not an invalid. Hell, I still edge the lawn. The only reason I don't mow the whole thing is that I don't want to breathe in the exhaust fumes from our gas-powered mower. Our edger is electric. But truly, people keep telling me to sit down. Sometimes I fight it. Sometimes, I admit, I take advantage.

3. People give you a LOT of stuff. I've gotten free drinks, free food, better parking spaces, attention I wouldn't get normally, and of course tons of baby stuff. I'm amazed, actually, at just how generous people can be. It makes you wonder, why aren't we all like this all the time??? Why do we reserve it for people we judge as more deserving than others?

4. All that time off I get to look forward to very shortly. Three months of work-less bliss! I don't think that needs further explanation.

5. And finally, because 5 seems like a nice, round number to build a list on, I absolutely LOVE feeling the baby move. That's probably the only part of this process I truly enjoy. It's just the coolest feeling in the world, and I really wish dads could feel that too. No really, it would be great if we could trade off...I carry one child, he carries the next. Why should I have all the fun?

Oh dear

2010-06-09T21:27:00.003-05:00

I went to my latest ob/gyn appointment this morning, and everything looks great. I started to panic, though when the doctor said we'd have one more two-week appointment and then hopefully only a couple of weekly appointments.

EEK!!! This is starting to feel frighteningly real all of a sudden. You know, you go through most of the pregnancy sort of feeling disconnected from the reality that lies ahead, that 1. you're going to experience something incredibly beautiful but extremely painful, and 2. your whole world is about to be turned upside down and shaken like a bottle of salad dressing.

On the one hand, I'm extremely excited about having another baby. On the other hand, we've fallen into such a routine with just us and Emily that it's really scary to think about adding someone else in there. I mean, it's been six full years since we did this the last time, and while it's been the best six years of my life there have been some incredibly difficult periods in there too. The thing that most worries me is juggling work and two kids along with all of our other myriad obligations and interests. I'm less worried about balancing time between the two kids since Emily is older and far better able to kind of hang out with me and the baby in a way that doesn't require my giving her completely undivided attention at all times.

I'm also worried about Randy and me having enough time together. We went through some seriously challenging periods in Emily's first year or two (nothing crazy, just to ease the wandering minds of any concerned parties out there). There were some really long stretches where it felt like we were just completely disconnected. How will that play out this time?

I don't know. Circumstances are vastly different this go around, and I guess it's all the unknowns that are bothering me. That and the mere thought of going through labor and delivery again. The pain, the pain, oh the pain pain pain pain!!

I will say that one thing I'm very much looking forward to is getting my brain back at some point, because my writing just sucks right now.

Siblings Class

2010-06-07T16:56:00.007-05:00

I took Emily on Saturday to a siblings class at the hospital where we'll be delivering. They had two options, a class for 3-5 year olds and one for 6-12 year olds. Thankfully, I was able to get her into the class for older kids since her birthday is so close. Also, the next 3-5 year olds class isn't until August. Not helpful when we're due in July.

There were six kids in the class, most of whom were probably around 7-8 years old. Emily, being the mature kid that she is, fit right in and had a great time. They went over how the kids may be feeling about having a baby in the house and talked about household hazards, feeding, diapering, changing clothes, holding the baby properly, etc., and taught the kids that things that are small enough to fit through a toilet paper tube are too small to have around a baby.

Emily really ate it all up. She contributed to the class discussions and was really excited to learn how to help out with the baby. It didn't occur to me to take my camera along, but I was able snap a few shots with my phone...

Emily's picture of her and George...

Learning to use the nasal asperator...

Changing baby's diaper...

Dressing baby after giving him a sponge bath...

One thing that really impressed me was a packet of questions they gave us for parents and kids to go over. I really liked this idea and found this a useful exercise to do with Emily. I'll list them here for anyone who may not have the benefit of a siblings class (or whose class doesn't cover this):

1. List 3 special things you want to do with your mom or dad before they go to the hospital to have the baby (hints: have a favorite food, read a book together,make something, play a game...)

2. List 3 special things you want your mom to do while she is in the hospital (hints: call home to talk to you, write you a note and send it home with your dad or grandparents, tape a picture that you colored for her on her hospital room wall...)

3. List 3 special things you want to do while mom is in the hospital (hints: visit her and the baby, go out to eat with dad or someone else special, watch a favorite video, make a picture or sign to welcome baby and mom home...)

4. List 3 special things you would like to do with your mom or dad after the baby is born (hints: have some private time together, read a book, play a game, make cookies...)

5. Name 3 things you thnk you will like about having a baby in your family.

6. Name 3 things you think you will not like about having a baby in your family.

7. Name 3 things you like about yourself.

8. Name 3 things you think will make you a good big sister/brother.

Early morning concerns of a 5 year old

2010-05-27T10:52:00.000-05:00

Emily while getting out of the car at school: "I sure hope San Antonio doesn't blow up today."

Me: "I have no response to that."

Counting down

2010-05-24T12:46:00.002-05:00

32 weeks as of tomorrow, and so far everything looks good.

My belated Mother's Day gift to all of you...

2010-05-12T10:14:00.000-05:00

Koláče

2010-05-06T08:56:00.009-05:00

A little about me:

I come from mostly Czech stock. The exact percentage is debatable, but that's neither here nor there. I grew up in a Czech community and was churched in a Czech Christian denomination (The Unity of the Brethren). My Czech heritage is a huge part of who I am in so many ways that would take way too long to explain here, but nowhere is that influence better exemplified than in the making of kolaches.

Koláče (plural) refers to a variety of Czech cakes or pies (depending on where you see the definition). The sausage- or ham-stuffed rolls you find labeled kolaches (the English spelling) in gas stations or donut shops around Texas are another variety of pastry called klobasnek. This confusion drives me absolutely insane, and if you want to see my twitch just ask me what kind of meat I use in my kolaches. I'm not even gonna start on pronunciation of the word. Just be aware that most of you are butchering it.

Anywho, our church used to hold a kolach bake sale every year, and it was a point of pride for me when I was old enough to go and help. A crew would go in and work through the night churning out dozen after dozen, and then we'd sell them to the public. My great aunt Christine Kubala would be at the helm, and if you didn't do your job right she had no problem kicking you out of the kitchen. It was blast, though, sitting around brushing the dough and listening to the older ladies talk in Czech. I imagine you don't get too much of that now. Most of the older people have passed away, Aunt Christine included, and it's for that reason I have wanted for a long time to try making kolaches on my own. I've helped my mom before, but this is different. It's high time I brought a little more Czech into my own family.

My first solo attempt didn't go so well. I didn't understand the recipe and used FAR too much yeast. My second attempt, however, was a resounding success. These things were fantastic! I'm not going to include a recipe here, because quite frankly it's kind of complicated and I'm too lazy. Here are some pics from the big event, though:

This dough is just gorgeous. I set the oven on 200F and let it rise on top...

You can fill kolaches with whatever you want, but I went fairly traditional with a cottage cheese mixture, apricot, prune, and poppy seed (although, I used canned poppy seed filling and I'd like to make it from scratch next time)...

Rolling the dough balls properly was VERY important to Aunt Christine. If you didn't do it exactly how she taught you, she kicked you out...

Yummy...

Here's what a double batch yielded. I really can't explain just how good these things were. I made these for an international food festival we had at work and am told they were a resounding hit...

Super Star

2010-04-27T19:00:00.004-05:00

Last Wednesday, we got a call from Emily's teacher saying she would be receiving a Super Star award at school for exemplifying perseverence, this month's featured pillar of excellence (character attributes like honesty, respect, generosity, etc., that the school focuses on). One student is selected from each class and is given an award is a school-wide assembly. The student's family is invited to attend and then have a special breakfast with the students afterwards.

It was really great. The school makes a really big deal out of this, taking pictures and giving the selected kids a medal and certificate as well as putting up a star with their name on it in the library. Each student's teacher writes up a commendation which is read out loud during the assembly...

The whole thing is a secret, and the students don't know they've been selected until it's time for the assembly and they see their parents there. Emily was so proud!

Things in my office

2010-04-17T11:54:00.006-05:00

A friend and I found these papercraft birds one day. You can print them for free and put them together, although I recommend doing them on card stock if you can. We did ours on regular copy paper, and they're a bit flimsy. Pretty cute, though.

2010-04-07T15:55:00.003-05:00

So, I'm sitting here kinda frozen and trying desperately to ignore all of those ~~not so~~ little nagging things I really need to attend to in life. Want a list? You know you do...

1. Study for and take my TExES exams, both the science content and the pedagogy and professional responsibility (PPR) exams. Fun fun fun. The problem here is that I get so very little "free" time in the evenings that the absolute last thing I want to do with it is sit down and learn about earth science and child development theory. It isn't that I don't want to know these things but more that I simply don't want to take my precious time to do it. Also, I'm very tired and can't think terribly clearly which is seriously impacting my ability to retain detailed scientific information.
2. EXERCISE! This is a big one, of course. I did actually stop off and walk a mile on the way in to work this morning, so that's something. Generally speaking, I'm really very tired most of the time, and that makes it really difficult to get my ever-fattening booty in gear.
3. Baby stuff baby stuff baby stuff. I need to get the baby's room in some kind of order so I can take stock of the stuff we already have and the stuff that we'll need. I also need to sign up for a childbirth refresher as well as Emily's sibling class (yes, the hospital offers a sibling class). AND I need to start lining up childcare for the baby.
4. Work. Let's just not even go there, shall we?
5. Sleep. This one's pretty elusive right now. I get some kind of sleep at night, but I dream so much that I'm pretty sure the sleep I'm getting isn't the kind I need. I'm also fairly certain that my lack of exercise is affecting my sleep quality, and my poor sleep quality is causing my inability to think clearly, which is in turn affecting my ability to get any of this done.

Let's just stop here. This is getting depressing. Also, I'm very tired.

Snapshot

2010-03-28T20:45:00.002-05:00

We finally broke down and bought a grill today, just a cheapy charcoal job, but it gets the job done. Our inaugural meal consisted of pork chops, tomatoes, and asparagus on the grill, and roasted cauliflower from the oven. I even splurged a little and purchased myself a bottle of non-alcoholic wine. It was...not great. It wasn't bad but still just sort of tasted like grape juice. I think I'll stick to non-alcoholic beer since I found this one which actually tastes like a decent lager.

Expanding our creative horizons

2010-03-17T08:32:00.013-05:00

We're all fairly creative already, but lately we've been indulging that side of ourselves a lot. That's one thing having more living space really allows us to do.

I've been carting around a carton of fabric scraps for about 15 years now, so a few weeks ago I decided to finally start working on the quilt I've always intended the scraps for. I've also been doing some painting (both watercolor and acrylic) and a lot of yard- and housework, both of which nurture my creative side.

This is an acrylic on canvas that I just finished yesterday. It's a pretty simple loteria picture, but I'm really happy with how it came out.

Emily has been doing a lot of writing lately. She's really creative and makes up stories and songs all the time, and I can totally see writing being something she sticks with as she gets older. She's still doing a lot of phonetic spelling right now, but for a Kindergartener, I think she writes pretty darn well!!

Last Saturday, we all went to the 3rd annual Luminaria arts showcase in downtown SA. One thing that may surprise people about San Antonio is that it has a really great, ever-expanding arts community. Luminaria coincides with Contemporary Art Month and takes over a portion of downtown to feature musical talent, folk dancing, multi-media installations, short films, still art of all forms, poetry, etc. Our friend Alston entered short films both last year and this year, so we caught that and saw what we could of everything else until we were squeezed out by the 200,000 other people swarming around.

Our realtor, Kathleen Trenchard, is fairly famous for doing papel picado and had several portraits of local performance artists hanging in the Convention Center this year, including this one:

We caught these Indian dancers outside of the Instituto Culturo de Mexico:

It's a boy!

2010-03-05T08:38:00.006-06:00

I don't really think these need much explanation...

And look! The evidence! Despite his lack of interest in football or guns, Randy does in fact have a few Y chromosomes floating around in there.

And just so the BOY! doesn't monopolize the entire post (as they can sometimes do), here's a bonus shot of big sister looking all cute and stuff in a recent school presentation. I have some spectacular video footage from this performance, and if the gremlins in our house ever relinquish the usb cord to our video camera, I'll upload that too.

Jack

2010-02-23T20:27:00.007-06:00

Some of you know that since last summer our nephew, Jack, has been battling siezures in one form or another. Well, after a battery of tests he finally has a diagnosis as to the cause. He has tuberous sclerosis, a rare genetic disorder that causes benign tumors to grow in various organs of the body. You can read Jack's story with all the details here, but the long and short of it is that his siezures aren't going to go away, and he has a medically challenging road ahead of him.

I urge you to read a little about tuberous sclerosis here, and if you feel compelled to do so, make a donation to support research and awareness of this rare (and therefore under-researched) disease. There is currently no specific treatment and no cure. Jack will be monitored regularly for tumor growth within his brain, kidneys, eyes, etc., and treatment will basically target his symptoms.

The good news is that Jack is developing completely normally so far, and with any luck his case will be relatively mild and free of some of the nastier complications.

What's Cooking

2010-02-20T20:41:00.007-06:00

Beef Stew: The ultimate cold-weather food

Okay, I must admit that it's a teensy bit painful to divulge this recipe since I've perfected it over a number of years, but what's the point of keeping perfection to oneself? I've done this stew in a pot on the stove, in a Dutch oven covered in campfire coals, in a Dutch oven in the oven, and in a slow cooker on either high or low heat. It works equally well all ways, just vary the cook time accordingly. For purposes of simplification, this recipe will be for a slow cooker on low.

What you'll need:
*~1.5 lbs lean beef stew meat, cubed
*4 or 5 large carrots, peeled and cubed
*4 or 5 smallish potatoes (I prefer red, but yukon gold are yummy as well), cubed
*10-15 pearl onions (color of your preference), or one large onion, diced
*2 or 3 cloves garlic, minced
*mushrooms of your choice, however you like them (if using button mushrooms, I leave them whole; if using something larger, I slice them)
*seasoned salt to taste
*olive oil
*~1 cup dry red wine
*1 pkg Lipton's beefy onion soup mix (or some nice beef stock and extra onion)
water

Put stew meat in a bowl with olive oil (a couple of tablespoons), garlic, and seasoned salt. Stir to coat. Brown meat lightly on medium heat. Don't worry about browning all sides of the meat. The point here is to sear in the flavors of the seasoned salt and garlic.

Add meat to bottom of slow cooker. Next, sprinkle in beefy onion soup mix, then carrots, then onion and mushroom, then potatoes (the order doesn't really matter all that much, but I am a scientist and tend to do this in the same order every time). Finally, pour in red wine and top off with water up to the level of the potatoes. Don't fill the liquid all the way to the top of the slow cooker or you'll find it bubbling out of the sides of the lid in a few hours, and no one wants to clean any more than they have to.

To finish...slap on the lid, turn the dial to low, and let simmer away while you're at work all day.

Finished and delicious. Serve with rest of your red wine and a nice, crusty bread. My personal favorite is the rosemary sourdough from Whole Foods.

2010-02-13T17:26:00.006-06:00

We decided to take advantage of the gorgeous SUNNY!! weather today and walk over to the Japanese Tea Gardens...

Financial fasting

2010-02-04T08:58:00.004-06:00

So, if you followed the link I posted here you know that for the past three weeks, Randy and I have been on a financial fast. He posted the details on his blog, so I won't explain them here, but I must say that it has been an interesting experience.

The first week was actually fairly easy for me. By the second week, though, things started to get a bit dodgy. Now, DAMN-IT, I want a breakfast taco!! Honestly, though, it's been a great exercise in seeing just how much money we waste on a daily basis. I think we've made great strides in buying groceries more efficiently. We're packing food from home instead of eating lunch out. We're using things we already have around the house instead of just running out to buy more. These things may seem intuitive to a lot of people, but I think especially for younger families with both parents working full-time, it's so easy to fall into a pattern of just picking something up for dinner on the way home and saying to yourself, "well I've been working so hard that I'm going to treat myself today." Then, before you know it you've forked out a ridiculous amount of your monthly income on treats. It all adds up, and if Randy's spending money over there and I'm spending money over here, the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing and that can spell financial disaster. Starbucks is expensive, people!! Stay away from the evil mermaid!

The fast has basically come to an end now, so we're once again able to spend as we please. We'll just be spending a little more wisely and perhaps a little more interestingly.

Bikes and trikes

2010-01-28T11:35:00.003-06:00

Last weekend marked an important milestone for Emily...her first bike. We thought about getting her a bike for Christmas, but every one we looked at seemed either too small or too large, and we decided to wait until her birthday. Some church friends, however, have a daughter who is two years older than Emily and asked last week if we'd want the bike their daughter had outgrown. Emily can still ride her ginormous Trek tricyle, but it seemed like a good time to transition her onto a two-wheeler, so we said "Sure." She had a blast! She road around our block, and then Randy took her over to the park for a ride.

Emily fed the ducks baked Cheetos. I'm sure they appreciated the lower-fat gesture.

SHAMELESS PLUG

2010-01-22T15:33:00.003-06:00

Check out Randy's new blog on our financial fast here.

Reversal of Fortunes

2010-01-13T08:17:00.001-06:00

New Year's Resolution: No More Winter Camping

2010-01-09T11:12:00.009-06:00

A while back, our friend Shannon suggested we all go tent camping in the Davis Mtns for New Year's. It sounded like a good idea at the time, so we committed and made reservations and set about on a little road trip to bring in the new year.

We knew it would be cold, so we packed all of our sleeping bags and spare blankets, bought new thermals, hats, gloves, etc., and also threw in our space heater. Randy had to work a half day New Year's Eve, so we didn't get to leave San Antonio until around 2pm, which put us arriving at the state park around 9pm. Our friends had arrived the day before and decided to abandon the sites with water and electricity for a site with water only and convinced us to set up our tent on their site Thursday night. Unfortunately, that meant we couldn't plug in our electric heater.

Around 10:30pm Thursday, all liquids that were still out on the table were frozen solid. We should have headed that warning and gone to the site we had originally reserved so we could use the heater, but we persevered. We put Emily into two sleeping bags and hunkered down in our respective bags with our hats, gloves, and coats on, and hardly slept at all. Around 6:30am, one of the other campers' car lights came on for no reason and were aimed directly at our tent, so we took that as a sign to just get up. After a sleepless night of shivering and almost crying and thinking that our toes would almost certainly have to be amputated from frost bite, Randy, Emily, and I got in the car, turned the heater on full-blast and drove around for almost two hours to thaw out. It was by far the most miserable night of camping I have ever been through. We found out later that the temperature had fallen to 9 degrees F!

I don't know how they did it, but the others slept in until almost 9am. We made a nice breakfast at the camp, and afterwards we all set out for a hike. Randy and the others planned to do the long hike that Alston and I did back in August. Emily and I followed them for a bit, but then went back to camp for the rest of the afternoon. I took a nap while she played in the tent. Then we hit the playground and got going on dinner, Dutch oven stew and peach cobbler.

This is Emily and me climbing up after Randy, et. al. for a ways. If you look closely, you can see my hat.

Our fearless co-campers...

After Randy got back from the hike, we picked up our tent and moved it lock, stock and barrel to our campsite with electricity. That night, it was a balmy 60 degrees in our tent and we slept quite restfully.

On Saturday morning, we opted for breakfast at the Indian Lodge's Black Bear Restaurant. Since this was a mini-vacay and we were avoiding the freezing cold as long as possible, we opted for the full works: pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast, biscuits, and hashbrowns. It was fantastic. Once we were stuffed, we went out to the observation deck and snapped some pics. Unfortunately, there was no one around to shoot us all together and no place to set the camera down for a timer shot.

After breakfast, we packed up and started home.

But of course, no trip out west would be complete without some javalena.

2009-12-28T21:40:00.002-06:00

Okay, internet, here's the thing...I'm bored. There's just nothing going on that I'm at all interested in committing to type. I really need to find something that will keep me occupied for a while. Something that doesn't take too much extra time out of my already over-committed day. Cooking my way through Mastering The Art of French Cooking is obviously out. Any other suggestions?

Life on a runaway train...

2009-12-21T11:21:00.002-06:00

Okay, that's really what it feels like. No time to get anything done! Our house is at least semi-clean, but we are woefully unprepared for Christmas and a house-ful of guests this weekend. AAHHH!!

2009-12-06T19:34:00.009-06:00

Well, I seem to have lost all sense of creativity when it comes to posting here. If it weren't for my two faithful readers I would give it up entirely and just do Facebook. But, I can post things in a way here that I can't there, so I do still like the format. I promise, if you hang in here with me, you'll be rewarded soon.

Last weekend was a busy one (as usual). I'm hoping for some downtime in January so we can do some desperately need work around the house. The house needs repainting and the yard is disturbing. So, if you're looking for something to do after the first of the year, give me a call. Anywho, back to last weekend. We jetted up to Austin Saturday morning for Jack's baptism followed by some hanging-out time at Jonathan and Sheryl's house, which was really great for Emily especially because we'll be spending Christmas at home with Randy's family this year. This gave her a chance to play with her cousins a little.

Jack with Mom and Dad during the baptism...

Best friends...

Trying to wrangle all the cousins for a photo together. With two babies on the move, you can see that this was nearly impossible...

We had to head back to San Antonio in the afternoon so we could go caroling on the Riverwalk with our church group Saturday night.

Emily and the rest of the younger contingent on our barge enjoying some hot chocolate before we set sail...

Lights on the river...

A Christmasy Alamo...

Downtown lights...

Cool coke bottle Christmas tree in a downtown gallery window...

We had to be at church early Sunday morning so Emily and the other kiddos could get ready for the Christmas play that they put on during Sunday school that morning. Unfortunately, I totally forgot to grab the camera before we left, so I don't have any shots of the play. It was so cute too! They did the story of the poinsettia.

So, that's that. We came home from church on Sunday and crashed out. Randy slept in our bed. I fell asleep on the couch. And Emily spent almost four hours playing games on the computer!

2009-11-29T18:49:00.005-06:00

Sorry for yet another sudden stoppage in posting, but once again things have been INSANELY busy the past ~~month~~ couple of weeks. I will be really. glad. when my class ends December 10th.

We haven't done anything too noteworthy. Just the usual...school, work, church, and trying to work in a little time with friends and family. Thanksgiving was fun, a trip to my parents' place and then running around to see various contingents of extended family in the Austin area. As always, we had fun staying with my folks. ~~Randy~~ We helped put up their Christmas lights and got in some serious Black Friday shopping (highlighted mostly by Randy camping out at Best Buy in Georgetown from 11pm Thursday to 5am Friday in order to snag us the nifty new computer I'm currently typing this on. It's nothing fancy, but it gets the job done).

Emily and I spent Saturday evening (we came home Saturday afternoon) decorating for Christmas while Randy set up the new computer and generally tinkered around in the basement. Here's a little of our handiwork:

There should be more decor to come later in the week after we find some lights to put up outside. We set out on a quest for ceramic C9 lights this afternoon, but after two Home Depot's and a Walmart with no luck, we decided to give up for today. We almost settled for the LED C9's (they are, after all, more energy friendly), but we just don't like the way they look. The ceramic ones are the ones we remember from childhood and really do make it Christmas for us.

Halloween

2009-11-02T08:19:00.008-06:00

We had a good Halloween this year. It was funny. Usually Emily announces next year's costume before we even finish trick-or-treating and never deviates from that. This year, she went through three different ideas before settling.

The festivities started at work with both door decorating and costume contests. We fixed up our lab door and tied for third place (although, since there were only four entries we didn't exactly jump up and down about that). Oh well, we got a $20 gift card to Cheddar's, so we'll do a little lab trip for some appetizers later in the week.

Here's our door decor...

and our costumes...

Friday evening, Emily's school held a Fall Festival complete with food, dancing, face-painting, games, and cookie decorating. Emily had a blast introducing us to her friends, and it was fun seeing teachers and students in their costumes. Emily was Princess Leia this year...

I just liked this picture...

We spent Halloween night over at our friend Alston's house just like last year. Her birthday is on Halloween, so she had some friends over to celebrate and hand out candy. Her street is THE place to go trick-or-treating in San Antonio, so it works out really well to go there. It's really a lot of fun.

Here's the calm before the storm. Later, there would be hundreds and hundreds of people out. I know someone down the street from Alston who hands out full-sized candy bars every year. They had about 500 bars and ran out shortly after 8pm!

Randy decided to play Darth Vador to Emily's Leia, and it was all fun and games until he sent a small child screaming into the night...

This was just one of the many parties that go on in this neighborhood...

A Challenge

2009-10-21T09:29:00.002-05:00

Over the past few years, our schedules have gotten rediculously busy and increasingly so. We seemed to sort of hold it all together for a while, but now things are almost out of hand. It's so bad, in fact, that in the past two weeks I've cooked all of about four meals at home. And I'm tired of this. So, I've issued myself a challenge to not eat out a single meal for the next month. It's expensive and unhealthy, so obviously I should reap some positive benefits. I'll keep you posted.

What happens when we have down-time at work...

2009-10-16T09:41:00.004-05:00

Progress

2009-10-07T12:48:00.005-05:00

Randy and I have moved together six times now. Up to this point we've always been able to unpack and settle in in just a few days. That was before our schedules ~~spun completely out of control~~ got busy. It's taking a lot longer this time, but that's okay. We've been taking it on room by room. We started with Emily's room, then the kitchen, then dining and living rooms and our bedroom. Last is the ~~black hole of doom~~ office.

We did Emily's room first figuring that if she had space to do her thing it would be easier for us to take our time with the rest of the house. Seems to have worked out well so far. The only thing we haven't done is re-paint her room. The current color is okay but kind of blah for a kid's room. Emily wanted pink, but I nixed that. She then settled on purple but now is saying green, so we might give it a couple more weeks and see what happens. I'm fine with either. It really comes down to picking out the actual color. In any case, here's her room so far...

Bonus pick: Emily and Sparky passed out together the night we moved in...

Still alive!

2009-10-01T10:28:00.002-05:00

We got all moved into the house last weekend and are LOVING it!! The one thing I didn't think about was how much time I actually needed to get everything settled. I really should have taken a week off of work. Oh well. It'll get there.

So, things we love--SPACE SPACE SPACE!!, letting Emily and Sparky make as much noise as they like in the house, just shoving Sparky out the back door when he needs to use the bathroom, THE BASEMENT!!, THE GARAGE!!, did I mention the space??

Things that need to change--the paint (some of the interior colors are really dark). That's really about it. We just love love love the layout and the SPACE and the location. We're really excited, and I'll shut up now.

It's official!!!

2009-09-23T21:29:00.002-05:00

We FINALLY closed on the house this afternoon. YAY!!! I don't want to raise my blood pressure by going into all the gory details, so let's just say that the past week has SUCKED but everything worked out well in the end.

Next step is getting moved in. Our computer decided to crap out last weekend, so between that and the packing and unpacking I probably won't be able to get any posts up until next Monday. Stay tuned...

And the saga continues...

2009-09-21T09:08:00.003-05:00

We were scheduled to close on our house last Friday, but collective incompetence on the part of everyone but us in this drama led to a delay to...today? tomorrow? Wednesday? We'll see. The movers are scheduled for Saturday morning, and most of our belongings are packed away, so as long as we get to move on time I care not about the rest of it.

Weekend Update

2009-09-14T10:58:00.005-05:00

Behold, the look of people on the move...

We spent most of Saturday packing up our stuff. We close on the house this Friday (eek!!) and will move in on the 26th, and we CAN'T WAIT! I am SO ready to re-enter the land of endless home improvement projects and things breaking down and yardwork and painted walls. The past three years in an apartment feels like a lifetime to me. We've decided to give our friends a break this move and hire professionals to haul our stuff around. I will spend the 25th playing charwoman in the new place and also taking my paintings and other valuables over. We plan to have people over to help unpack and in general make merry in our new digs when the movers are finished. Pizza and beer for all who come!!

Randy spent a fair amount of time Friday night and Saturday morning trying to repair the damage Sparky has done to our carpeting. He cut some carpeting out of a closet and sort of put in patches. You can really see the amount of discoloration that happens over the course of a year. We're trying to rough up the patches a bit to help them blend in. Will it fly with the apartment people? We'll see.

It's terrible, I know, but to keep Emily occupied, we just let her watch movies all day. The film festival featured The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe, The Ugly Dachshund, Mary Poppins, Princess Diaries, and Nim's Island.

Yesterday was our annual Balloon Sunday at church. Each year we kick off the new Sunday School year with a celebration recognizing our different classes and commissioning our new teachers. The event included a balloon artist who made Emily this gem...

What's Cooking

2009-09-08T11:59:00.006-05:00

This long, hot summer has had me completely uninspired in the kitchen. It's just been way too hot to turn on the oven, but I've been re-jazzed by our slight break in weather, so here's a good recipe for you.

I'm training (albeit very slowly) to run the San Antonio Rock and Roll Half Marathon on November 15, and in an effort to jump start some weight loss and make the running easier (as well as just plain get back in to shape and feel better physically), I'm diving back into the South Beach diet. So, to make the restrictive Phase One go a little faster, I searched around for some new recipes and found this one.

Here's how I made it:

Pre-heat oven to 375F. Thaw two bags of frozen cauliflower in a covered dish in the microwave (add a little water and cook 5-10 minutes). While that's doing it's thing, mix together 4 Tbls low-fat mayo (I use the Kraft olive oil kind), 4 Tbls low-fat sour cream, 1 Tbls lemon juice, 1 tsp chopped garlic, 1 tsp Dijon mustard, 1 cup low-fat shredded cheddar cheese, and black pepper to taste. When cauliflower is thawed, arrange florets in a greased casserole dish and spread cheese mixture on top in a thin layer. Sprinkle a few tablespoons of grated parmesan over the top, then bake, uncovered, for ~30 minutes. This is how mine looked prior to cooking:

And this is how it looked after it was cooked. As you can see, it was so good I forgot to take a picture of the finished dish before we tore it apart.

Birthday Vacay

2009-08-25T22:00:00.038-05:00

I seriously do NOT feel 31. It boggles my mind that I am actually 31 this year. I'd say I now feel around 25 or 26, which is actually up from previous years. I think it's work...trying to discuss movies or music with my very young (late teens/early 20's) interns is a definate challenge. But oh well. At least I don't have to claim the late 90's as my formative musical influence. That's gotta suck.

For my birthday this year we decided to camp in the Davis Mountains. Emily, however, had other plans. She was sent home late Tuesday with a fever, which the doctor said the next day was not due to strep or the flu (they tested). Unfortunately, she was still spiking fever Wednesday night, so Randy generously told me to go with our friend Alston and camp anyway (we'd originally planned this with Alston). SO, Alston and I set out bright and early last Thursday morning and headed west is search of adventure and a little peace.

We set out around 7am, stopped in Junction to have breakfast at this place...

...and were greeted just inside the door with a case full of knives. Very random.

It was very exciting. After a lot of driving and a nice trip through the Fort Stockton Walmart, we pressed on to the Davis Mountains State Park. We passed this strange turkey sign in Balmorhea...

Sunrise in the park. The weather was perfect, highs around 90F and nights that were cool but not cold. Wonderful camping weather.

We decided Friday would be our big hiking day, so we walked up to Indian Lodge for breakfast in the Black Bear Restaurant...

and since it was my birthday and we had planned a long day of hiking, we chowed down pretty good. I wouldn't say it was wonderful, but it was decent and held us for a really long time.

This is the view from the Indian Lodge observation balcony. None of the pictures do the scenery justice. It's absolutely beautiful there. Gentle hills and soft, green landscapes. Divorce yourself from any notion of comparing these mountains to the Rockies or Alps. The Davis Mountains are majestic in a different way. It's very peaceful there.

So, we actually ended up hiking from the state park to the Fort Davis National Historic Site. Round trip is around 9 to 10 miles. The trail is very rocky and both ends start out with some pretty steep climbing. I definately wouldn't recommend this for anyone with a physical handicap, but all in all it was a very good hike. The view is beatiful along the entire trail, and there was always a cool breeze blowing.

This was taken at the highest point of our hike. Fort Davis is behind me in the distance.

Also from the highest point on the hike, this looks down into the state park. You can see Indian Lodge in the distance.

Panorama from the top...

We soaked the beans from a package of 15 bean soup while we were out hiking and got them going on the stove as soon as we got back. I quickly found that our little white pot (the only pot we had) was too small, so we had to cook the overlow in the tea kettle.

Alston getting the fire ready for some Dutch oven cookin'.

A perfect Dutch oven peach cobbler. Absolutely delicious.

In addition to plenty of birds and insects, we saw a lot of mule deer and javelina. They were downright bold, too, walking right up to us in camp. We had to shew them away.

And finally, I returned home to a clean house, cake, and plants for the new house (yay!). Twas lovely.

We did some other stuff out west as well. Friday night, Alston and I went to a star party at McDonald Observatory. Unfortunately it was overcast, so they did some lectures and demonstrations and we didn't get to really see anything outside. By the time the cloud cover lifted enough to spot anything we were dead tired from all the hiking and just skipped out and went back to camp.

Almost Heaven...

2009-08-19T22:18:00.003-05:00

We're off tomorrow to spend a few days camping at Davis Mtns State Park before school starts on Monday. Yay for cooler temps!

Get the moving boxes ready

2009-08-11T19:06:00.009-05:00

Behold, our house. I can't tell you how ecstatic I am that we found this craftsman bungalow gem. We are totally in love with this house. It was built in 1932 and is in the district of San Antonio known as Tobin Hill. It's situated just north of downtown SA within walking distance of both Brackenridge Park and the new Riverwalk extension. The neighborhood may look a little rough around the edges, but it's undergoing a major revitalization and is pegged to be the hot historic neighborhood to be in here. It's got lots of great restaurants (including a couple of our favorites), shops and art galleries, is a hop/skip/jump away from downtown and even has a good school. What more could you want?

The oh-so-wonderful front porch. I'm seeing lots of coffee on the front porch this fall.

Master bedroom. Somewhat unusual for a house of this size and time period is that all of the bedrooms are a decent size.

Kitchen. Okay, so this room needs some work. There isn't much in the way of cabinet space, and the flow of the room is all wrong, so I see a remodel here in a few years.

The living and dining rooms have parquet floors with this inlaid design around the perimeter of each room.

Living and dining rooms. The archway is definately not original and will definately be going away sometime in the future. It doesn't really go with anything else in the house.

The basement...a rarity in these parts.

Progress?

2009-08-05T16:29:00.003-05:00

Life is insane in the way that things all sort of happen at one time. As if the whole pregnancy problem thing wasn't stressful enough, we found a house the day before our d&c. I found it in an on-line listing, and we went by to take a look and just fell in love. Even Emily was smitten, which is saying something since this is a one story and she keeps crying that she wants a house "with stairs."

So, while we were in the doctor's office waiting for my drugs to kick in before the d&c Randy was on the phone to our bank trying to get a preapproval letter so we could submit an offer. The house had only been on the market for six days at that point and was definately hot property given the location and the shape it is in. We made the offer that Saturday and by the next Tuesday the contract was signed. The eight days since then has been a roller coaster ride of financing, inspections, allowances and check-writing.

All of this has been layered on top of grief and hormone fluctuations for me and has me feeling a little bipolar at the moment. One day I'm fine and the next day I'm in the bathroom trying not to cry and feeling completely crazy.

I know it isn't rational, but it's difficult not to feel resentful when my successfully pregnant friends are posting pictures their ultrasound photos on Facebook while I keep having to say things like "you can cancel that pregnancy briefing with Health and Safety" at work or "we can go ahead and start increasing my dose again" at my allergist's office. Just when I think it's behind me I remember people we haven't told, and I just haven't been able to send those messages or pick up the phone. Trying to feel okay is exhausting.

Truly, I do know that the end of this pregnancy doesn't mean it won't happen again successfully, but it's unimaginably difficult once you're emotionally invested in a life to become uninvested. It was there and now it isn't. It was there and you made plans but now it's gone, and the most diffcult part is that you never saw it except on a screen. It was there and growing and everything seemed real, and then it's as if it was all a dream. Sigh...

Emily's Birthday Party, Or How We Found Out That Dora Is SO Last Year

2009-07-29T22:33:00.006-05:00

Last year, we did Emily's birthday party at Kiddie Park. This year, for no particular reason, we decided to have it in Orsinger County Park, a great little park with some awesome play equipment around the corner from our apartment. So, we sent out the invites and had a grand old time just ~~boiling~~ chilling in the park, watching the kids ~~annoy people~~ cool each other off with water pistols, and eating hot dogs.

And, of course, we had cake, compliments of mom and Aunt Laura (whose other works of art can be seen here and here).

A couple of days before the party, I took Emily with me to Party City to pick out plates, party favors, etc., for the bash and was surprised when she made a bee line for a Dora pinata. Pinatas are very common in San Antonio, of course, so she's had ample opportunity to take a whack at them at other parties; however, she has always shied away from them. I usually end up hitting it with her or for her. So committing to actually making the purchase is not something I wanted to do just then. Now, I should point out that since we don't own a TV, we don't watch TV, so we have no idea what's even on let alone what's "cool." Randy went back before the party to get the pinata, because Emily kept talking about having one, and since she'd actually given the Dora one a hug he bought it. Come time to beat the pinata with a lovely colorful stick during the party, one of Emily's friends says,"I thought we hated Dora." Emily responds, "My Dad got it." Ouch.

The kiddies did their best to take Dora out, but just couldn't manage it, so I stepped in and had the great pleasure of taking her head off. It was oh so satisfying.

All in all, it was a good party. Despite the heat, people seemed to enjoy themselves. Things were low key and low maintainence, which is just what we needed given everything else that was going on at the time. And our idea to get water pistols was practically a stroke of genius that kept the wee folk busy for a really long time. On to the next.

AAHHHH!!

2009-07-28T12:59:00.000-05:00

Craziness here!

Miscarriage mayhem

2009-07-22T17:19:00.003-05:00

Alright, seriously. Who knew this could be so difficult?? We found out our baby's dead. We've wept. We've cried. We've seriously shed about as many tears as I think we could possibly shed at this point. There's nothing more we can do. And what we do when there's nothing else to do is to find something funny in the situation. So, here it is--who'd have thought that even our non-living embryo would be this stubborn?

We've tried twice in the past two days to induce a miscarriage (point being that the sooner this is over with the sooner we can move on and try again). The problem is that the meds they're giving me to induce a miscarriage aren't doing anything. I went in Monday all "expect pain like labor" and "take the Vicodin if you feel anything", and NOTHING. Turns out this stuff doesn't work for everyone. SO, we have to go in sometime in the next couple of days (hopefully we'll nail down a time with our doc tomorrow morning) to do a d&c. Then, it's just wait a few months and get it on again.

Jorge, go toward the light. It's okay. Really

Side Note

2009-07-21T17:58:00.002-05:00

I really have to stop trying to watch Spike Jonze's movies. They're just too weird for me. Sorry.

The "M" Word

2009-07-15T20:38:00.005-05:00

I went to my first ob/gyn appointment for this pregnancy at around five weeks. Since it was so early, we really couldn't see anything, so I made an appointment for two weeks later and went in again last Wednesday (with Randy this time, since we were both still off for vacation) to see how things had progressed and hopefully nail down a due date. I've never had a non-chemically-induced regular period in my life, and since my last period was in late March we had to go on anecdotal evidence to guess how far along we were. I was pretty certain we knew, but we still wanted the official date.

So, we went in last Wednesday and were hit with an anvil when the doctor said "no heartbeat" and "growth stopped". I felt incredibly stupid for asking "so what are you saying" when I knew full well what she was telling us. She was pretty certain we'd experienced a missed abortion. She gave us several options for how to proceed, gave us her extension number, and sent us home to mull it over. I'm not going to lie, we both lost it. And my face is not one that can hide when I've been crying, even a little bit. I turn beet red and horribly splotchy and my nose and eyes swell up. It's really quite annoying. We checked out of the office, and I felt guilty just being there. We were surrounded by healthy pregnant women and nurses all doing there best to avert their eyes from us. I mean, what reproductive-aged woman goes to the ob/gyn with her husband if it isn't about a baby?? They know it's bad news, and they know it's bad news about a pregnancy.

We got home and immediately jumped on the internet trying to find some speck of hope to hold onto. And basically we held hard and fast to the hope that we were just off on our dates. We called the doctor and said we'd like to wait a week and do another ultrasound just to be sure. After six days of Hell with no sleep and major anxiety, we went back yesterday, Emily's birthday, and saw it all too clearly. There's no hope. We're are at eight weeks, but there's still no heartbeat and no growth whatsoever since last week, which had measured at six weeks and six days. And if I'm honest with myself, those dates are firm.

Truthfully, something has been off since the beginning of the pregnancy. When I carried Emily, I basically had symptoms that were almost opposite of what I've experienced this time. I've had only intermittent nausia, and I've had very minor, very sporadic spotting. With Emily, things were much more consistent. But nothing I've experienced in the past two months has been out of the ordinary for pregnancy in general. To me, it just didn't feel right.

That having been said, we've waited a really long time to have a second child. We decided we really wanted to go for it almost two years ago, but we wanted to wait until our finances were in order. We paid off a mountain of debt last fall, I went in for my annual exam in February, and we've been trying ever since. We really wanted this baby. Logically, we know that this is for the best, that there was obviously something really wrong; but emotionally, if you tell me that right now I might just punch you in the face. We were attached. We have names. I watch the weeks and hours of Emily's life ticking by, knowing now that there will be a six year age difference between her and her sibling. I know that doesn't mean anything, but I want them to be close. I want Emily to enjoy a brother or sister as a brother or sister and not as a toy or a pet or someone for her to play mommy to.

So, we're still pretty raw here. There's a grieving process we're trying to get through, but it's pretty difficult when I haven't actually miscarried. The doctor said it could take up to a month for my body to get with the program, so we've scheduled another ob/gyn appointment for Monday morning. If nothing happens naturally by this weekend, we will induce a miscarriage so we can move on. It sounds very matter of fact, but the sooner this is over with the sooner we can move on and try again. We're only waiting now because of Emily's birthday and birthday party. We haven't told her yet.

Happy Birthday!

2009-07-15T10:56:00.002-05:00

Emily turned five yesterday and celebrated with a little dance time at Starbucks:

The Summary

2009-07-10T23:58:00.011-05:00

Vacation was good. Mostly very relaxing. We hit our usual stops: Senor Fish in El Paso, Trader Joe's and In N Out Burger in Mesa. Apart from that, we didn't plan anything. We just went with the flow and mostly hung out around the house or the pool. It was very nice. Low maintainance. Just what I was hoping for.

We had originally planned to drive straight through to Mesa on Wednesday, July 1, and then leave for home Sunday taking a few days to wind our way back. But as we've already explored the obvious alternative routes home and deemed them stupid because 1. there isn't really much to see or do, and 2. They add hours and hours to the already butt-burning trip, we just decided to drive straight through on the way home as well. I'm really glad we did, too, because it gave us three days at home to do more nothing.

Emily was quite the trooper through the whole thing. We borrowed a portable dvd player from some friends, brought tons of movies, and found out about two hours outside of San Antonio that the dvd player wouldn't play properly. We couldn't get it to stop skipping. So, she played with some toys, colored a lot, and had us read stories to her, AND was really great about the whole thing. The trip to Mesa was great! It took us only about 15 hours of drive time, and our car got about 38mpg!! The drive back seemed to take considerably longer, although we did lose two hours to the time change and there was that hour we lost when Randy made a wrong turn about an hour and a half outside Mesa. I'm not sure what the deal was with this either, but the first three places we stopped to take a potty brake didn't have toilet paper. I was beginning to think it was some sort of conspiracy and was particularly glad I had the forsight to bring a roll of tp from home JUST IN CASE.

All in all, it was a great visit and, for the most part, a pretty relaxing break.

The view about half an hour east of Mesa. I love the saguaros...

A familiar sight during the Arizona monsoon season...

Em cooling off in a downtown Starbucks. On Thursday, we took the new light rail system into downtown Phoenix and walked around a bit. We stopped for a nice lunch at Sam's Cafe and ducked into every available misting system or bit of air conditioning we could find on the way back to our train stop...

Em and Uncle Scotty on the mall carousel...

Sunset by the pool in Mesa...

Sunset on I10...

Vacation: Day 1

2009-06-30T21:35:00.002-05:00

It's 9:35pm, and I am sitting on the floor amongst piles of laundry desperately trying to will them into the closet. I truly hate doing laundry...almost as much as I hate packing. But I must finish the laundry before I can pack. Blocked at every turn.

We're setting off tomorrow for Mesa, AZ, to visit the Harris side of the fam. Well, some of it at least. Randy and I are both desperately in need of some R&R away from home, so our plan is to hang out with his parents and spend as much time possible doing very little...slowly. It should be nice.

Current plan: leave around 4 or 5am, stop for lunch at Senor Fish in El Paso, reach Mesa before midnight, sometime before Sunday visit Trader Joe's and In N Out Burger. Not terribly ambitious, which is just the way we like it. So, armed with a borrowed dvd player, plenty of movies, music and books on cd, and more crayons than I care to think about leaving in my car in the desert in July, off we go...

Jorge and a career move, or how I plan to strip myself of all sanity in the next year

2009-06-27T19:21:00.007-05:00

See, I can keep a promise. I promised you more attention this weekend and here I am! I know, I'm excited too. This is going to end up a pretty long post, just to warn you.

So, the big things going on with us:
For starters, I've applied to the alternative teacher certification program at San Antonio College (SAC). The reason I haven't had time to devote to you kind people is that I've been spending my evenings studying like mad for the THEA test, which I took this morning. It was a pretty darn easy exam, I must say. Apart from one really weird math problem that I eventually just guessed on (A, because I hadn't had an A answer in a while), I'll be very surprised if I don't have an excellent score. I spent $21 on an incredibly crappy study guide (with at least a dozen really major typos) that didn't help me at all with the reading and writing sections (not that help was needed; and I'm not trying to be all look at me I'm so smart here, it was just THAT EASY). I am glad to have had the math review, however, since I took my last math class in 1996.

So, I submitted my application to SAC on the 19th and promptly received a letter dated the 22nd that I was missing several items (which were all mailed on the 19th and probably got there the day the letter was mailed). The letter also has me scheduled for the in-person interview portion (ohnumbshebyohnumbsheby!!) of the application process. I take that as a promising sign since I submitted my application a month after the priority deadline. I'm hoping that since I am applying to be certified as an elementary/middle school science teacher I was bumped up in the ranks. I know schools are desperate for science and math folk.

Alright, on with the down and dirty. Why am I making this career move? I'd long planned to get a graduate degree of some sort and teach at the college level. Last year, I started thinking...why spend 6-8 years and a small fortune getting what I need to do that when I could teach much of the same material and actually spur youngins into science? Idealistic, I know, but there it is. I've also thought A LOT about my childhood, particularly now that Emily is of school age (yikes!), and one of the most special things about my childhood is the amount of time I got to spend with my mother and brother. Okay, Jon and I fought like cats and dogs much of the time, and we hated having to hang around school after everyone else went home, but the holidays and summers were really great. I desperately want more time to spend at home. On average, I spend about 2-3 hours a day during the week with Emily, and only about 15 minutes of that is quality time. It kills me. The last major reason for going into teaching, interestingly enough, is the money. You don't hear that too often, but it's true. Teachers in San Antonio make a lot more than I currently make. So there you have it.

And for our second big event...we're going to have a baby!! Okay, anyone who knows us enough to care (and actually reads this) already knows about this. But here are the vitals: We found out June 15th. I went to the doctor June 22nd, but it was too early to see anything. My doc estimates (with some anecdotal evidence from me combined with the ultrasound photo) that we're at around five weeks. Well, I guess you can bump that up to around six weeks on Monday. I go back for another ultrasound July 8th and am really hoping we can see everything we need to see then. I really detest uncertainty. You may find this hard to believe (shut up, Randy), but I am just not a patient person. I need to know, and I need to know now. But I digress. We're all very excited about becoming four. Emily is totally stoked and will be an absolutely fabulous big sis. Just take my word on that. She'd probably file legal papers to adopt the baby as her own if she could and just shove us out of the picture. She's a little momma that one.

And now for the philisophical: I didn't really feel I could or should say anything sooner, but I am certain the reason I haven't felt like posting AT ALL (I'm not kidding, you're really lucky you got what you got) the past few months was this whole baby-making thing. It's a stressful process, planned parenthood, especially for someone who cycles very irregularly like me. We started trying in February, and after a couple of months your head stops listening to everything that tells you to give it time, relax, it'll happen. It's not something I really felt I could talk to anyone about, because it's frustrating when you have nothing new to say. And nothing else seems of much importance. We've wanted this for a really long time, so I think mostly I didn't want to think about it any more than I already was. On a final note, I will hereafter refer to "the new baby" as Jorge. It'll either be a George or an Audry (a name we have yet to totally sell Emily on as she wants to name a girl after one of the Disney princesses), and there's just no way to combine those two comfortably.

And so, to kick off this insanity, here's our baseline belly shot...

And for our parting shot, a five foot mound of laundry. This happens surprisingly often lately...

Random Photo Day

2009-06-22T21:25:00.005-05:00

Okay, I'm not going to lie. There is a TON of stuff going on right now, but part of what's going on is taking up my nights, so I don't have a lot of time to blog at the moment. That will change this weekend, I promise. Yeah yeah, I know you've heard that before, but I promise nonetheless. Bear with me and I'll make it worth your while. In the meantime, here are a few random photos I've taken recently...

Spider web in the early morning light on our front porch:

Progress...asphalt covering the original brick streets on East Main Street in Granger, TX:

Downtown angles:

The McNay

2009-06-14T21:59:00.010-05:00

A while back (shamefully far back, in fact), we paid a visit to The McNay, one of the undersold jewels of San Antonio. It's an art museum in Alamo Heights, a veritable oasis of eye candy. Even the bathrooms are artful. The buildings and grounds are breathtaking, and they have a truly amazing collection...from Van Gogh to Picasso to Monet to Warhol and LOTS in between. It is a definate must-see if you visit SA.